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Abusive relationships  can be difficult to spot but will share a few helpful tips that will help both the abused and a friend or relative to the abused to know they are in for danger. Abusive relationships can manifest in different forms either physical, emotional, financial or sexual.  Your friend or sister or daughter who is being abused may find it very difficult to speak up but with these tips i will share here you will be able to identify an abusive relationship.

 1.    Isolation: This is the very first sign of an abusive relationship,  the dominant will always need the abused person isolated. You begin to see such people who were very outgoing more reserved.  They stay away from friends and family, they always have one excuse or the other not to be seen outside.  The abuser tend to control people who have access to the abused.  You find out that the abuser ensures that all ties with the outside world is been cut. The person might be missing out on work or school without any good reason. They trace their phone calls and invade their privacy.  Imagine living a life without support from friends and family. Even when they do not want to act like the abuser they make sure that all your friends are their friends.  Have you wondered why some women or men can never be caught anywhere alone in public?. They are always in the company of  the  abuser.  If you put a call through, its the abuser that will answer.  They have very limited access to money.  The aim of this so that the victim depends so much on the abuser.

 2.  LOW SELF ESTEEM: Reduced self esteem is the first desire of an abuser. It is difficult to break someone who has their self esteem intact or high.  A victim of abuse most times have low self-esteem, they rely so much on their abuser for validation and approval.  You could see a lady who used to be very out spoken and confident begin to be extremely shy and withdrawn. You could notice that coworker who could walk with her shoulder up high begin to speak so timidly with fear and great lack of firmness. The abused sees himself or herself as a property or sex object not an individual anymore. They develop a negative self perception.

Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship, they make decisions for you and make sure you conform totally to their will. The abuser is often times unpredictable they could have their mood swing at any moment which in turn makes the abused very careful around them. The abused will have to be careful the way they talk or discuss certain topics because anything or everything could be a trigger for abuse to start. They use threats and intimidation to get the abused to do and act the way they want. The abused gets yelled at,  threatened,  humiliated and embarrassed. They act in fear towards their partners,  and are often anxious when they are about to be left alone with the abuser.  They are sad and are often times depressed.  Some abused persons in relationships sometimes act suicidal.

 When abuse is in the physical form the abused will be left with injuries and cuts sometimes. It is easy to recognise inflicted injuries. The abused oftentimes lies about those injuries and could cook up stories about how they fell while doing one thing or the other. These people are in toxic environments and need to be removed for their lives to be saved.  When physical abuse starts it is very difficult to stop. It could just take a longer time interval for it to manifest.  They often wear clothes that cover up their injuries and hides the scars.


We often think that physical abuse is the worst but emotional abuse which leads to internal scars is indeed the worst

Don't forget to check out my last post.  Click HERE if you missed it.

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