6:50 am

There are 5 things that makes relationships last long here they are:

# 1: Fondness and Admiration

Happy couples tell their tales with warmth, affection, and respect for each other… Spontaneous compliments are common… couples with a weak fondness and admiration system tend to recall unfavorable first impressions of their partner.

(Weekly giveaway: The 5th person who comments
 with email address gets airtime)

# 2: Me-ness vs. We-ness

Happy couples tend to relate stories where they worked well as a unit. The sense that they are “in this together” is palpable… The clue to the dead romance… is not that they aren’t able to resolve an argument. It’s why they are stuck in it: They are both focusing on me, not we.

# 3: Knowing your partner

…Detailed descriptions indicate that they continue to understand and respect what makes the other tick: what their partner cares about, what makes him or her sad, or happy. We also note whether there is positive energy or a lack of it in their descriptions… Couples who lose this connection…remain impersonal and guarded when recounting their history, mentioning nothing specific about each other. Their view of their past is “generic” rather than individualized.

# 4: Glorifying Your Struggles

Couples who describe their relationship history as chaotic are usually unhappy in the present. They don’t tell stories of pulling together or learning from their negative experiences. There’s no sense in their descriptions that their past troubles and conflicts strengthened their mutual trust... happy couples express pride over having survived difficult times. They glorify the struggle by emphasizing how it strengthened their commitment. They believe they steered their own course together, based on their common goals, aspirations, and values. They have built a system of shared meaning and purpose. Whether couples display this positive energy when recalling past hardships is not at all dependent on the depth of the difficulties they faced. How they interpret the negative and positive events is the key.

# 5: Disappointment vs. Satisfaction

When couples are at risk for splitting, at least one of them will express disappointment that the relationship isn’t what it promised to be. Often, when reviewing the choices they made in the past, they express cynicism about long-term commitment… satisfied partners believe that their relationship has met their expectations.

And there is a point where the rift cannot be undone:

…once the Negative “Story of Us” switch is thrown, it is very hard to reverse. Any intervention is almost certainly too little, too late. Even if there’s a positive change in one partner’s behavior, the other remains suspicious, thinking something like, Well, the demon finally did something nice, but this relationship is still hell.

What’s the core takeaway you should keep in mind?

Either they emphasize their good times and make light of the rough spots, or they accentuate their failures and not their successes. Likewise, they either underscore their partner’s positive traits in favor of their more annoying characteristics (cherishing), or they do the opposite (trashing).

Have a blessed week friends.

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  1. this is how it feels to be the first person to comment

  2. Beautiful insightful

  3. Where is Miss Rose Powell??

  4. Since my comments are like fried rice let me drop the real comment

  5. I really love this post

  6. Hahahahaha @enwongo if I have wanted to post comment I for done drop 10 comment since one hour am not d greed type I want make other people win today is ur turn..e hugs

  7. @ifeoma good morning I saw ur mail thank you so much for d card u r blessed

  8. Wow. Lovely post Gabby. I think I am a living testimony to these points stated. Mr hands for making my Monday

  9. Lol...@Rose Thank you for your selflessness. I'll definitely nominate you for Nobel Peace Prize;)

  10. Oh! Wow! This was deep like that oh! Oshey! Marriage counselor someboRRy.. To me yeah Nne! Dating doesn't have a manual.. To this 23 years 11 months and 4 days old confused man.. It all somehow-anyhow boils down to happiness.. As if your Significant other does not make you happy.. Nne Gbawa door :)

    How are You Bubba.. I apologize for being like Festac NEPA on here.. My life has more or less Tripled in stress.. Miss you oh! :) How are you?!

  11. Great post Gabby - wisdom packed... great again is the fact that I am the fifth person to comment here. Does this means that I get to win the give away? (

    Come to think of it, my comment is coming on a day we are celebrating your blogversary... happiness all the way.

    Egwumba’s Blog



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