I have been thinking about domestic violence in Christian homes for a long time now and I realized this” No two best friends will ever get married with the intention of hitting each other either with words or fists.”
What could have happened that our once sweet love story turns violent in a moment.
This love was once true and pure for some people at least, but something just goes wrong and the love story turns sour with dangerous consequences. I will be discussing some of the causes of this domestic violence either with words or fists. I am one of those who believe it’s not only hands that can hurt so badly. Words can have the exact same effect or even worse.
These are some of the causes I have seen so far:
Read more: 4 SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
1. Traditional beliefs
Some personal traditions can have a way of getting into our marriages and getting things messed up. Some people believe no woman is equal to a man no matter how old that woman is. This makes them feel their wives can be treated badly because they aren’t just equal. They feel women should be controlled and dominated because they have been brought up to believe this and transfer this to their Christian marriage.
The marriage between two believers is scriptural based not based on traditional especially the traditions that glorify on sex about the other. God created us both male and female and in a Christian marriage the man is instructed to love his wife just as Christ loves the church. The love of Christ does not discriminate or values itself above the church rather he nurtures and gives himself for him. So many Christians find it difficult to let go of all of men’s traditions they grew up with and renew their minds with the word of God. Are you going through abuse in your home? How often do you allow the word of God remove all those traditions you grew up knowing that are contrary to his word?
2. Violent pattern from parents.
Witnessing can mean seeing actual incidents of physical/and or sexual abuse. It also means hearing threats or fighting noises from another room. Children may also observe the aftermath of physical abuse such as blood, bruises, tears, torn clothing, and broken items. Finally children aware may be of the tension in the home such as their mother’s fearfulness when the abuser’s car pulls into the driveway. Growing up in a home where abuse seems to be okay will make a child from the home transfer the circle of abuse into present marriage. Living consistently in that kind of environment makes a child feel its okay to abuse and intimidate others. It has been found out that children from violent homes feel that violence is the only way of resolving conflicts. That is honestly the only way they have seen almost all through their lives so they tend to handle issues that way too. It also makes them feel abuse is a form of love. It has been built into their subconscious minds so its a bit difficult to think differently.
In building a christian home it is therefore necessary to allow the word of God work in us. If we allow the Word of God which is powerful enough to change and liberate us work within us(Col 3:16), then we will not have abuse in Christian homes. It is also important that we allow the Holy Spirit give us self control in the control of our temper and anger. Every root of anger and the old man should be rooted out by the power of Christ.
All we need to do is to yield to the power of the Holy Spirit. Lets allow him work in us, we need to remember that human tradition is not what saved us, therefore we can’t live according to the traditions of men Mark 7:8. Seeing abuse all through your life doesn’t make it great or the right thing. Remember you are the redeemed of the Lord. You are a new creature therefore you are not ruled by the rules or traditions of the world.
What can you say about violence in Christian homes?