Anger has a way of getting in our way of reaching our goal of a healthy relationship. Some of us have had very good relationships which we simply messed up because we didn’t have a way to manage our anger.
Anger is an emotion that we all experience, and it signifies that something has to be done. Anger makes you aware that there is a problem. How you deal with your anger can become a big part of the problem. For some couples, anger can make it nearly impossible to figure out what the problem is and how to fix it.
There are ways to fix pouring out your anger on your partner.
1. Know that you are in control of your emotions. Nothing should be in control of us. We are adults therefore we shouldn’t allow any emotions get the best of us. When we allow anger control us then we have handed over power to make vital decisions in our lives for us.
2. Knowing that the anger can be controlled, take out some time to calm yourself down. Take out time to get calm. So many times we make nasty decisions when we are angry and when the emotions fade away. We can’t take back what we have done.
3. We need to know that anger is just the by product of one negative feeling or the other. Such as disappointment, rejection, being look down on etc. It could have started at one point or the other especially from childhood. It’s important you look into the very root of your anger. The real reason for the anger might not be the real reason at all.
4. Choose to never put your hopes on man. Truly when we expect people to be with faults it helps us reduce the rate at which we get angry at them. It’s more like saying don’t expect too much. They won’t be perfect neither will you.
How to handle your partners anger.
When you partner is angry is never the best time to be angry also. The ideal thing is never to get upset when your partner is angry but most times we find ourselves upset almost at the same time. I will tell you the ideal thing to do.
Be supportive: know that your spouse isn’t just angry because they choose to be angry. They have a reason which is good enough to make them angry. At this time, you should be calm and listen actively. I don’t think it’s a time to talk actively. Listen! Really listen not for the purpose of answering back but for the purpose of trying to understand where they are coming from.
It’s not about you: You also need to know that at this point your own feelings and perspective isn’t important. For now it’s not about you, it’s about the other person.
Practice apologizing: stay calm, and remind yourself why you are in the relationship. That you are in control of how you express your emotions. Relationships are made for the best forgiver and apologizers. Be willing to forgive and accept being wrong.